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how-to-be-a-skinny-bitch:

andrewscotted:

voldemortsss:

dinklages:

sirlestrange:

Tootsie Roll, Comfortable, Orange, Both, Tour, Toilet, Sure, Nevada, Roof, Chocolate, Route, Drawer, Coupon, Ramen noodles, Pecan, Caramel, Milk, Again, Carribean, Wash, New Orleans, Crayon, Envelope, Coffee, Reese’s Pieces, Data

(via girlofthe21stcentury)

I just need this again

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  • Holden Caulfield: Hey I just met you
  • Holden Caulfield: and this is crazy
  • Holden Caulfield: but anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.
  • Holden Caulfield: so don't even call me, you're a phony
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jehluss:

If I ever offend anyone I’m not trying to

I’m just an idiot

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  • mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
  • me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
  • mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
  • me:
  • mom:
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
  • me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
  • mom:
  • me:
  • mom: this isn't normal
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carpathians